in some countries owning a house rather than renting is very important to people. Why might this be the case? Do you think is a positive or negative situation?

Throughout the world, the majority of populaces argue that owning a shack is a status symbol rather than a rented home. I want to discuss both views in
this
essay
although
, having a mortgage accommodation is a crucial prospect for the future generation, and it is undeniable.
To begin
with, as human beings everyone wants to settle down to some point
for example
before starting married life, they want their own residence
good
Correct word choice
and good
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job to start a happy family. I agree with
this
statement because it is essential for anyone. On the one hand, I delineated the viewpoint of society, which is that rich persons always had a strong opinion of the world just because of their living status,
whereas
poor people are unaccountable around the globe. It is a big picture of the world sphere and cannot be ignored. In my opinion, I agree, that wealthy human beings have a humongous opportunity to acquire everything.
However
, sometimes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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impoverished individuals buy an apartment to maintain their status without looking at their earnings as
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, they indulge in debt, and feel under pressure. Looking at these perspectives, are not able to pay their mortgage and regular bills.
On the other hand
, through analysis,
it is clear that
around 40% of inhabitants cannot pay their mortgage amount and daily routine expenses on earth.
In addition
, many loan companies are taking advantage of
this
calamity,
for instance
, by putting a higher interest on the loan amount, citizens are
pressurized
Verb problem
pressured
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to pay high rates of bills
due to
their ignorance.
furthermore
, the reason for the high amount to pay for families is losing their habitats. In conclusion,
owing
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owning
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a flat could be done if it is under budget unless it makes people too depressed to repay their expenses.
Moreover
, before we do anything, must through our annual outcomes.
Submitted by ahtesham on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with logical progression of ideas and arguments. The introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task, but there are some ideas that are not completely developed or relevant. The argumentation could be more comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • homeownership
  • financial security
  • property appreciation
  • equity
  • mortgage
  • real estate
  • tax incentives
  • fixed asset
  • inheritance
  • economic mobility
  • housing market
  • maintenance
  • upfront costs
  • long-term investment
  • personal space
  • housing bubble
  • rental market
  • housing crisis
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