IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The use of mobile phones should be banned in public spaces as libraries, transportations and shpos. To what extant do agree or disagree?

#phones #spaces #libraries #transportations #shpos
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
mobile
Correct article usage
the mobile
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
 is
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
 necessity for every individual. But some masses say that
phones
Use synonyms
prohibited
Add a missing verb
are prohibited
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public spots. Here
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am totally agreed with
this
Linking Words
 situation my statement and my arguments will be briefly described in
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraph with
crystal
Correct article usage
a crystal
show examples
 clear conclusion. To commence with, a large no of
Add an article
the community
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
 that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 should
banned
Change the verb form
ban
be banned
show examples
 in public places like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
libraries, shops and transportation. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, many
people
Use synonyms
 are going to libraries for
peaceful
Add an article
the peaceful
show examples
 environment because they can study properly there without any
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 libraries always
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
silence but sometimes
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 irresponsible persons are using cell
phones
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that place
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 disturbed others.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 I remember
last
Linking Words
 month I visited the library there one person is getting
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
phone calls
a phone call
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
 calls
countinously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 he was attending the all
calls
Change the verb form
call
show examples
people
Use synonyms
listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
show examples
 him and feel
te
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 disturbance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in public transport
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 a
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
 while travelling to their destination for work in that
bzy
Correct your spelling
by
tym
Add a comma
,tym
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 click
a photos
Correct the article-noun agreement
a photo
photos
show examples
 or record
a videos
Correct the article-noun agreement
videos
a video
show examples
 and Spoiled the peace of mind.
Thus
Linking Words
 the
phones
Use synonyms
 should
restricted
Change the verb form
restrict
be restricted
show examples
 in public spots.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 big proportion against
this
Linking Words
 statement that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 applying a ban on cell
phones
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
the
a
show examples
social
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
. In the other words,
phones
Use synonyms
 are most important for everyone because 80% of all persons
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
 by their smartphone in some places public telephone
boths
Correct your spelling
booths
both
 are available but in few
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
 telephone both there are no telephone both nearby in
this
Linking Words
 situation faces
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of difficulties To sum up, folks should aware to know where to use
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and where not yet, they do not try to disturb
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 and their attention.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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