Some people think that people who are over 60 years old should retire and stop working. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Life is all about stages, there comes a period one needs to relax, and taking
care
of either by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
or their children but
this
also
depends on how early procreation took place in the aspect of children taking
care
of them. Meanwhile , a few numbers of individuals are of the notion that 60years elder should retire and as well stop working . I totally agree with
this
statement and
this
essay
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the need for older
people
to cherish their
retirement
age
. The cycle of life comes with stages and as well one needs to
untilize
Correct your spelling
utilize
every opportunity seen at every spot. When it comes to
retirement
age
which is
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
50 and 60
years
for some
people
. At
this
age
, older
ones
who are
government
workers are
advice
Replace the word
advised
show examples
to rest in other not to keep stressing themselves with much
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
and
thus
, creates
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
for job employment for the youthful
ones
.
Retirement
does not simply
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
that one has to stick
in
Correct your spelling
indoor
show examples
door
Add an article
the door
show examples
all through. NO... Other minor jobs can be created for them like
opening
Add an article
the opening
show examples
of mini shops where they can come out each day and exercise and interact with others thereby eradicating some
health
issues like diabetes, osteoporosis which affects the bones , and depression .
Secondly
, It is of great benefit because
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
places them on pension allowances and
health
allowances as a reward
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
years
of resilience,
Correct your spelling
hard work
hard-work
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, and perseverance while
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
service.
For example
, a healthcare provider who is heading a labour unit in the
health
institution and has
attain
Change the verb form
attained
show examples
a
retirement
age
can no longer handle
such
procedure
Correct article usage
a procedure
show examples
because most ligaments
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
been worn out gradually and there is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
show examples
in strength. In the US
for example
. The
government
provided a province known as OLD
PEOPLE
'S HOME, proper
care
and love
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
been rendered to them
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for those who do not have capable funds or persons to take
care
of their needs.
Also
, they are encouraged to practice passive exercise to avoid
sedimentary
Correct article usage
a sedimentary
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
which could affect their
health
status and
also
strengthen their life span. Again , vacation can be another avenue to enjoy your
retirement
age
with friends, loved
ones
and family at large. In conclusion, 60years of hard work, stress and psychological trauma that
was experience
Change the verb form
was experienced
show examples
while on service should
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
be taken for granted . And as well
people
should be ready to retire so that younger
ones
can get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
and have their monthly or daily earns.
Therefore
retirement
stage is a necessity.
Submitted by adaobihedioha12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: