IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children
In the age of rapid technological advances,
games
, movies, and other techniques prevail over traditional books for
children
's play and study.
However
, several people say that watching TV and playing
games
 are not as beneficial as reading
stories
. From my point of view, I utterly agree with the statement that
children
 gain more advantages when reading. Reading
stories
 augments
children
's imagination and cultivates their minds. Books are filled with
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
show examples
, beautiful
stories
 helping
children
 discover interesting things throughout single pages and broaden their minds and creativity.
Moreover
, those
stories
 are
touched
Wrong verb form
touching
show examples
 and educative, which has optimistic
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on
children
's mental health. It helps them to be more sympathetic and exquisite. Researchers have shown that reading allows
children
 to train their brain muscles most effectively because when they read, they have to use more energy than they do in watching and playing
games
.
On the other hand
, watching TV or playing video
games
 sometimes can cause additions and
misbehaviors
Change the spelling
misbehaviours
show examples
. Credulous
children
 are not equipped with full awareness of the influences of
games
 and movies on their minds.
Moreover
, there is a wide range of inappropriate films and
games
 for
children
 out of parents' control.
As a result
, those things bring devastating effects on
children
's health,
such
 as obesity, depression, and even additions. Recent content analyses of
children
's acts show that
children
 who frequently play fighting and shooting
games
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more tendency to develop violent
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and commit
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 than
children
 who do not. In conclusion, reading boosts
children
's knowledge and teaches them great lessons.
In contrast
, films and
games
 may lead them to wrong thoughts and actions or cause numerous diseases.
Therefore
, I support
children
 with reading habits.
Submitted by nhuminh031001 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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