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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #treatment #people
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A large portion of the public's money is being spent on treating people in the hospitals, while it might be better to utilize it for the prevention of multiple
diseases
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 by promoting a healthier
lifestyle
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 to the population.
This
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 essay will discuss the importance of preventing disease by having a clean and active
lifestyle
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.
Although
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 some pathologies might not have a direct relationship with the
lifestyle
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 one might have, an important amount of
diseases
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 are connected strongly to the day-to-day routine of patients. Having a sedentary
lifestyle
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, consuming large amounts of sugary and transformed foods as well as industrial ones full of hidden preservatives and saturated fats impacts massively the health by causing gradual
diseases
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such
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 as obesity, arterial hypertension , diabetes and atherosclerosis that might complicate
into
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apply
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many severe cases like heart attacks or brain ischemia. In order to prevent curable illnesses, it is important to have a clean and balanced diet,
privilege
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and privilege
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 more whole food
such
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 as vegetables, fruits and organic meat and poultry which will eventually lead to a decrease in the amounts of sugar and saturated fat consumed daily. Adding to that the important part that exercising has in the equation, having an active
lifestyle
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 and including more walking into the daily habits will have a good impact on the cardiovascular health, as well as the bones and articulations strenght that are directly improved by having a growth in the muscle mass. Overall, preserving our health has to be our
first
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 priority to prevent the development of illness, but it is crucial to keep a balanced amount of public money for curing
diseases
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 that might not be preventable.
Submitted by fatimazahra.kanbar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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