IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Helping others to achieve their goals and meet their needs has always been an altruistic
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and encouraged large groups of people to have contributions. Having said so, schools can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the primary step to teaching and informing the new generation of
such
Linking Words
 assistance. In spite of the fact that there are some people who believe free community service must be compulsory in schools, I am against the idea and I believe
this
Linking Words
 should remain an optional program. There is no doubt that working for a charity or teaching a sport to younger children by high school
students
Use synonyms
 will not only nurture their leadership skills but
also
Linking Words
 improve their communication expertise which will lead to higher chances of getting admitted to the top-ranked universities where charity works are highly valued.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by offering free
services
Use synonyms
 to society, governments are more likely to save the budget for more fundamental improvements to the neighbourhood.
However
Linking Words
, above mentioned benefits should not interfere with
students
Use synonyms
’ ambitions and goals.
Although
Linking Words
 there might be
students
Use synonyms
 who are eager to work in their spare time, they rather invest their time in places where they can earn money to save for their university studies. Having said so, if schools waste the precious spare time of a student on solving other’s problems
instead
Linking Words
 of theirs, the result will be counterproductive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are groups of
students
Use synonyms
 who are willing to perform tasks that are not considered compulsory community service, and obliging them would be demotivating.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there might be circumstances where
students
Use synonyms
 who are forced to perform community
services
Use synonyms
 are themselves busy at home doing the same tasks.
Thus
Linking Words
, the duplication will be overwhelming for them. In summary, it is clear that obligatory free
services
Use synonyms
 are more likely to have detrimental effects on school
students
Use synonyms
 compared to their potential benefits.
Thus
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with the idea of making it compulsory. Yet, it is beneficial to have the service and motivate
students
Use synonyms
 to volunteer for
such
Linking Words
services
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by r.amirzehni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: