Holidays honor people and events. if you could create a new holiday, what person or event it would honor and how would you want people to celebrate it ? use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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It is a common belief that giving
holidays
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is a part of a state’s policies which is true and considered
as
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apply

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indispensable for
public
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the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. These
holidays
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can be granted on the basis of different events and sometimes
honored
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honoured

The spelling of honored is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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to different personalities for their certain
work
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. In
this
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essay, it will be discussed
that
Correct word choice
apply

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if I will create a new
holiday
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, whom I will
honor
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honour

The spelling of honor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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it and how will I expect people to celebrate it. Granting
holidays
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is very crucial for the mental health of the masses when they celebrate a specific event and people generally think it can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be helpful to remember some important personality and reward his services. In
Pakistan
Add a comma
Pakistan,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In Pakistan. Consider adding a comma.

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different off days are given to the public
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, on religious events
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some are related to important personalities
and
Correct word choice
apply

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I personally want to create a
holiday
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for the death anniversary of Mr. Abdul Sattar Edhi who was the greatest humanitarian of Pakistan
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
world
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. The most significant reason behind choosing him for creating a new
holiday
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is that he was the founder of
Edhi
Correct article usage
the Edhi

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foundation
Capitalize word
Foundation

The word foundation should be capitalized in this context.

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, which is still one of the greatest
trust based
Add a hyphen
trust-based

It seems that trust based is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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social
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

organizations.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it
Correct pronoun usage
this

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, he started the
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s biggest ambulance service, which is operational in all parts of the
world
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.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he built free schools and colleges for poor and marginalized kids of the society. His services in social
work
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are immense and
praise able
Correct your spelling
praiseable

The words praise able seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

so, it is imperative to reward his
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by specifying a
holiday
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by his name. Several ways can be adopted to
clelebrate
Correct your spelling
celebrate

If you don’t want clelebrate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

day by
general
Add an article
the general

The noun phrase general public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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public and Government
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes

If you don’t want institues to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as well.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Certain programs and seminars should be arranged by public institutes on his death anniversary to highlight his
work
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and induce his legacy into people so that, they can be encouraged to help others and bring change in society. Events should be organized at schools and colleges to make the new generation aware of him and his
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Considering all the points, it can be concluded that
holidays
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are
indespensible
Correct your spelling
indispensable

If you don’t want indespensible to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for keeping alive the cultural values associated
to
Change preposition
with

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a certain event
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

remembering the services of a person. I personally want to create a new
holiday
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for Abdul Sattar Edhi, the greatest social worker
of
Change preposition
in

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the
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make the
world
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realize
about
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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his
work
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and legacy.

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Task Response
Ensure that all ideas are directly relevant to the task at hand, and that examples and explanations are clear and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by using clear and effective linking devices within and between sentences and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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