Due to the massive expansion of supermarkets recently, many small local businesses are unable to compete. It causes the closure of the local ones. Some people think that the situation will bring about the death of local community. Do you agree or disagree with it? Give reasons and examples to support your essay.

#expansion #supermarkets #businesses #closure #ones #people #situation #death #community #support

this

modern world, there is competition between modernized shopping malls and the traditional markets, whereas those shopping malls are trending among shoppers and clients.

As a result

, some local businesses are closed as they cannot compete with those supermarkets and it is said that

this

will badly affect the local community. In

this

essay, I will articulate both views along with my perception.

To begin

with,

products

showcased at supermarkets are expansively demanded by many housewives and customers as everything they need can be bought in one place and they are accessible. To exemplify, a housewife can get all the kitchen appliances, fresh vegetables, groceries as well as clothing in a huge mall without having to bargain the price as they are fixed and she just needs to pay for all of them in one counter.

Moreover

, the decorations, the good quality of

products

and the feeling of shopping in a luxurious mall persuade us to believe that it is worth shopping there.

Thus

, shopping at a massive retailer makes us satisfied.

On the contrary

, individuals have to look for different categories and goods they needed from shop to shop and go from place to place which is time-consuming. People think that some

products

such

as imported

products

are unavailable in the local market,

as a result

, they need to order it from another online store or shift to other marts.

However

, local and hand-made

products

in which some items are limited are only available at small shops. They just need to be promoted and advertised in an effective way that suits the market.

Consequently

, those limited edition and hand-made

products

can be the point that can encourage clients to visit their stores. In conclusion, I partially agree that the expansion of luxurious malls enormously threatens the small local businesses,

nonetheless

this

cannot be the reason that the small shops in the community totally shut down.

Instead

, small local stores can strengthen their

products

which are only available at their shops.

Submitted by nannphongnoan on Sat Aug 06 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion!

In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this development is positive? or negative?

Some people say that it is more important to spend time for developing a career. Some people say that it is important to share time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.