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Writing Samples
Band 7

Due to the massive expansion of supermarkets recently, many small local businesses are unable to compete. It causes the closure of the local ones. Some people think that the situation will bring about the death of local community. Do you agree or disagree with it? Give reasons and examples to support your essay.

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In
this
 modern world, there is competition between modernized shopping malls and the traditional markets, whereas those shopping malls are trending among shoppers and clients.
As a result
, some local businesses are closed as they cannot compete with those supermarkets and it is said that
this
 will badly affect the local community. In
this
 essay, I will articulate both views along with my perception.
To begin
 with,
products
 showcased at supermarkets are expansively demanded by many housewives and customers as everything they need can be bought in one place and they are accessible. To exemplify, a housewife can get all the kitchen appliances, fresh vegetables, groceries as well as clothing in a huge mall without having to bargain the price as they are fixed and she just needs to pay for all of them in one counter.
Moreover
, the decorations, the good quality of
products
 and the feeling of shopping in a luxurious mall persuade us to believe that it is worth shopping there.
Thus
, shopping at a massive retailer makes us satisfied.
On the contrary
, individuals have to look for different categories and goods they needed from shop to shop and go from place to place which is time-consuming. People think that some
products
such
 as imported
products
 are unavailable in the local market,
as a result
, they need to order it from another online store or shift to other marts.
However
, local and hand-made
products
 in which some items are limited are only available at small shops. They just need to be promoted and advertised in an effective way that suits the market.
Consequently
, those limited edition and hand-made
products
 can be the point that can encourage clients to visit their stores. In conclusion, I partially agree that the expansion of luxurious malls enormously threatens the small local businesses,
nonetheless
,
this
 cannot be the reason that the small shops in the community totally shut down.
Instead
, small local stores can strengthen their
products
 which are only available at their shops.
Submitted by nannphongnoan on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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