Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or internet charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

these days have differing ideas as regards
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
how to aid each other in
difficult
Add an article
a difficult

The noun phrase difficult situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
situation: one side says that straightly applying(ed) help
more
Change the word
apply

The double comparative more better may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

show examples
better to individuals who want
being
Change the verb form
to be

Being doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
assist
Wrong verb form
assisted

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb assist. Consider changing it.

show examples
(ed), whereas the others support the idea
providing
Change preposition
of providing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to the
variety
Replace the word
various

The word variety doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
range of
charities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, from my point of view, ensuring
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with direct support would be more efficient. Those who advocate delivering
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

method is productive for supplying financial
remedy
Fix the agreement mistake
remedies

It seems that remedy may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to a wide range of society. According to a number of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, financial assistance might be easier
obtaining
Change the verb form
to obtain

Obtaining doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
for individuals. If we consider that, there are more and more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
remote areas who need support,
but
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
contacting
Change the form of the verb
contact

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb contacting. Consider changing it.

show examples
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
them can
harder
Add a missing verb
be harder

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
than thought, because of
distance
Add an article
the distance

The noun phrase distance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
between both sides. Another aspect of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion is gathering a high amount of
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that can only be ensured by
charities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. There are educational, health,
human
Correct word choice
and human

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
services
charities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which are needed to construct buildings,
providing
Correct word choice
and providing

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
equipment and employees.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that supporting
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should have done definitely.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some supporters think that assisting the person in society
a
Add a missing verb
is a

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
bit embarrassing and
show-off
Correct article usage
a show-off

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
,
but
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the main reason is that the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

might need to help at that moment whether it is for indicating to other
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or not.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, health issues
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
must be done
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

aid until medical services come.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

approach, one
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

show examples
additional positive effect of supporting individuals is
influence
Wrong verb form
influencing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb influence. Consider changing it.

show examples
other
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

while showing appropriate behaviour.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a certain amount of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

avoiding to help others because of judging.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

acting more helpful
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourages

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb encouraging. Consider changing it.

show examples
society
being
Change the verb form
to be

Being doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
kindness
Replace the word
kind

The word kindness doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and
supporting
Replace the word
supportive

The word supporting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
without taking into consideration any kind of external thoughts. In conclusion, while supplying
money
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
charities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can influence more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, I believe that helping directly in communities
more
Add a missing verb
is more

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
pivotal for human life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: