Some people prefer to help or support directly in the local community for people who need it; however, others prefer to give money to the national or internet charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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Many
people
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these days have differing ideas as regards
to
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apply
show examples
how to aid each other in
difficult
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a difficult
show examples
situation: one side says that straightly applying(ed) help
more
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apply
show examples
better to individuals who want
being
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to be
show examples
assist
Wrong verb form
assisted
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(ed), whereas the others support the idea
providing
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of providing
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with
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apply
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money
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to the
variety
Replace the word
various
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range of
charities
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.
However
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, from my point of view, ensuring
people
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with direct support would be more efficient. Those who advocate delivering
money
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to
people
Use synonyms
believe that
this
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method is productive for supplying financial
remedy
Fix the agreement mistake
remedies
show examples
to a wide range of society. According to a number of
people
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, financial assistance might be easier
obtaining
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to obtain
show examples
for individuals. If we consider that, there are more and more
people
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at
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote areas who need support,
but
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apply
show examples
contacting
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contact
show examples
with
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apply
show examples
them can
harder
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be harder
show examples
than thought, because of
distance
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the distance
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between both sides. Another aspect of
this
Linking Words
opinion is gathering a high amount of
money
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that can only be ensured by
charities
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. There are educational, health,
human
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and human
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services
charities
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which are needed to construct buildings,
providing
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and providing
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equipment and employees.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that supporting
people
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should have done definitely.
Although
Linking Words
some supporters think that assisting the person in society
a
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is a
show examples
bit embarrassing and
show-off
Correct article usage
a show-off
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,
but
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apply
show examples
the main reason is that the
people
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might need to help at that moment whether it is for indicating to other
people
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or not.
For instance
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, health issues
what
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apply
show examples
must be done
first
Linking Words
aid until medical services come.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
approach, one
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
additional positive effect of supporting individuals is
influence
Wrong verb form
influencing
show examples
other
people
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while showing appropriate behaviour.
However
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, a certain amount of
people
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avoiding to help others because of judging.
As a result
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acting more helpful
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourages
show examples
society
being
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to be
show examples
kindness
Replace the word
kind
show examples
and
supporting
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supportive
show examples
without taking into consideration any kind of external thoughts. In conclusion, while supplying
money
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to
charities
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can influence more
people
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, I believe that helping directly in communities
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
pivotal for human life.
Submitted by ritm.scastya12 on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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