IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries around the world men and women are having babies late in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #world #men #women #babies #life
In the modern world, there are lots of different values and meanings to being a family. In a particular group of countries, men and women decide to have babies mostly at a later
age
. While
this
 trend has some drawbacks, I think that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweigh
Correct pronoun usage
themoutweigh
show examples
. It cannot be denied that having a
child
 at old
age
 can create some psychological and physical health issues for parents and children. Before deciding to be a parent
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
late both individuals who will be a parent should aptitude some necessary genetics analysis because lots of
genetics’
Change noun form
genetics
show examples
 diseases
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
 time and can cause lasting sickness
such
 as Down syndrome, HIV, lack of some organs, cerebral palsy and so on. The extreme cases, during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
birth, even one side may confront
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
death. In terms of psychological effects, the
age
 gap is bigger between parent and
child
 which can lead to difficulties relating to each other.
Therefore
, children
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 shortage of disagreements about a variety range of topics, especially, when they are teenagers, even they are ashamed of their parents.
However
, despite the aforementioned disadvantages, I am convinced that having babies late compared to early ages (is)
myriad
Correct article usage
a myriad
show examples
 of advantages.
First
 and foremost, more and more individuals have the hardship to earn sufficient money that’s why caring for babies and even getting married is quite difficult for them recently. Some couples prefer having financial stability before having and raising a
child
. The fact is that rearing a
child
 is not identified only feeding and wearing but
also
 have to support of their educational life, mental situation,
planning
Correct word choice
and planning
show examples
 their private life,
moreover
 parents should provide them with everything until the death of themselves. These kinds of
propreties
Correct your spelling
properties
 are not gained at an early
ages
Correct the article-noun agreement
age
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people prefer to have a
baby
 when they are ready with all aspects.
Additionally
, the people who want to have a
baby
 late in their life
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will obtain more experience
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 bringing up children like caring
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
baby
, towards them to advisable side it would be able to education, sport, art aspects. In conclusion,
although
 I recognize that having a
baby
 at an older
age
 has drawbacks, I believe that it has more positive effects for both sides.
Submitted by ritm.scastya12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: