Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #life #operations #development

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

people

turning to cosmetic

surgery

This

phenomenon is caused by various reasons and it has stirred up many heated arguments on whether cosmetic

surgery

is a positive or negative trend. Personally, I see myself in

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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favor

Change the spelling

favour

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of the former.

People

’s recent preference for cosmetic

surgery

is said to stem from a number of factors.

To begin

with, the higher demand for plastic

surgery

is due to the

fact

that nowadays,

people

seem to care more about their physical appearance than ever before, as

such

, they develop a desire to look more attractive.

Therefore

, when

this

mindset is taken into consideration, it is not difficult to explain why there is a rapid growth in the number of

people

undertaking plastic operations.

In addition

, the incredible and meteoric development of technology in recent

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

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further

contributes to the widespread use of cosmetic procedures. The utilization of highly advanced machinery undoubtedly results in increased efficiency, quality, as well as safety, allowing patients to put more trust in the process. In my opinion, an individual's wish to become more beautiful is not something that should be criticized or ridiculed owning thank to the

fact

that an attractive and pleasing physical appearance can be greatly beneficial,

such

as remarkably

boost

Wrong verb form

boosting

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a person’s confidence and self-esteem, or

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

one’s sense of happiness.

Consequently

, I am convinced cosmetic

surgery

is a viable method for those who want to refine their looks.

Nevertheless

, it is unwise to abuse plastic

surgery

, as overusing

this

method can lead to various health issues. When an individual undertakes a plethora of operations, an exceedingly large quantity of risks will become apparent, these consequences include blood loss, organ damage or even more horrifying, death. In conclusion, in recent times, cosmetic

surgery

has greatly soared in popularity, mostly thanks to the

fact

people

are becoming more and more conscious of their outward appearance. In my point of view, the

fact

that

people

can become their ideal

self

Fix the agreement mistake

selves

show examples

through cosmetic operations is a positive development, though it would be completely inappropriate to heavily overuse it.

Submitted by nghiemthanhlong432005 on Sun Aug 07 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

354 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays people have cosmetic surgery to improve life. Why do many more people choose these operations? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

Some people think that animals should be kept in men-made cells. What are the disadvantages of keeping animal in zoo?

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the government of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree?