IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.

the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and 2010.
#two #maps #show #road #access #city
The data on
road
 access to a
city
 hospital in 2007 and 2010 are illustrated in
two
 maps. The first map is for 2007 and the
second
 one is newer. The biggest change enforced on a
car
park
. The
car
park
 expanded and encompassed some adjacent lands.
Car
Correct article usage
The car
show examples
park
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 both public and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 in 2007, in comparison with 2010
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
car
park
turned
Add a missing verb
was turned
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
staffs'
Change noun form
staffs
show examples
car
park
 and the new
car
park
 built to the east of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 hospital
allocated
Add a missing verb
was allocated
show examples
 for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
witch
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 has one entrance to
ring
Correct article usage
the ring
show examples
road
.
Furthermore
, the
bus
 station was built to the west of the hospital
road
. and all the
bus
stopes
Correct your spelling
stops
show examples
 were ruined.
Two
 roundabouts
substituted
Add a missing verb
were substituted
show examples
 for the intersection of
city
road
 and hospital
road
 and the junction of hospital
road
 and
city
 hospital.
Two
 little roads lead from the
bus
 station to these roundabouts.
Overall
, in 2010 they expand the
car
park
 and divided it into
two
 sections, public, and staff.
Besides
, they transformed the
bus
 stops into the
bus
 station.
Also
, they replaced the junctions with roundabouts.
Submitted by chizarisara on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, two, car, park, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • dual carriageway
  • roundabout
  • traffic flow
  • multi-story car park
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian provisions
  • footpaths
  • traffic signals
  • construction phase
  • ambulances
  • carriageway expansion
  • traffic congestion
  • pedestrian crossings
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure development
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