IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the possible advantages and drawbacks of being a professional athlete?

sport is one of the most important
of
Change preposition
in
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 society nowadays. it is cause
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 to
being
Change the form of the verb
be
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famous and rich. a professional
athlete
Use synonyms
 is
goal
Change the article
a goal
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 for people who try hard at sport.
however
Linking Words
, it has some trouble too. in
this
Linking Words
 ,assay
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 write about professional
athlete
Use synonyms
 Sport promotes mental and physical health. Everybody needs to exercise for keeping healthy.
However
Linking Words
, being a professional
athlete
Use synonyms
 is so hard and needs
lots
Use synonyms
 of
exercise
Change to a plural noun
exercises
show examples
.is
this
Linking Words
 essay I write about the benefits and drawbacks of
a professional
Correct the article-noun agreement
professional athletes
a professional athlete
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athletes
Use synonyms
. There are
lots
Use synonyms
 of advantages of exercising professional. The
first
Linking Words
 advantage is being famous. When an
athlete
Use synonyms
 plays professionally and becomes a professional
athlete
Use synonyms
, he or she will start to play in national champions. She or he will start to play in national champions.
thus
Linking Words
, she will be shown on tv.
As a result
Linking Words
, he or she was seen by people and everybody will know him. The
second
Linking Words
 advantage is earning more money. as we know, when someone is famous, the country press will invite him or her for their advertising. So, he or she can earn money in different ways.
Although
Linking Words
 being a professional
athlete
Use synonyms
 has
lots
Use synonyms
 of benefits, it has some disadvantages too. The
first
Linking Words
 one is that
athletes
Use synonyms
 have to hard practice every day for many years.
For example
Linking Words
, professional football players have to spend 5 hours a day running and 2 hours on bodybuilding and they have to play football when they are 16 years old. The
second
Linking Words
 disadvantages are hard to diet. Professional
athletes
Use synonyms
 have to eat special food because hard practices need food with
lots
Use synonyms
 of calories and protein.
For example
Linking Words
, professional football players have to eat 2 potatoes with 5 eggs every day. So, they cannot eat every food. In summary, being famous and earning more money are two benefits of
a professional
Correct the article-noun agreement
professional athletes
a professional athlete
show examples
athletes
Use synonyms
However
Linking Words
, it has some disadvantages too. The
first
Linking Words
 is that
Use synonyms
athlete
Correct article usage
an athlete
show examples
 needs to hard practice for many years and the
second
Linking Words
 is that he or she has to get a hard diet.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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