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Band 4.5

some people believe that carrying cash should not be necessary and all payments ought to be digital. Others argue that having paper money still has benefits. What do you believe and why? Give reason for your answer, and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cash #payments #paper #money #reason
While some
people
 believe that carrying money is much more
benefitable
Correct your spelling
benefit able
 and suitable. Another community prefer to bank transactions
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online or in digitalized manner.
This
 essay will help to explain
further
.
On the other hand
, we all do know that not every region in the world has a network connection to carry out online transactions. Because of
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 network,
people
 believe that the
use
 of cash still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some advantages. As an example, according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily magazines nowadays, writers have mentioned that only half of the population
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
 to access
into
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apply
show examples
Add an article
the high
show examples
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
show examples
 world. Due to
this
 fact,
people
 tend to choose to carry cash rather than trying to find other ways
around
Correct pronoun usage
itaround
show examples
.
On the other hand
, others would argue about
this
, and I
also
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
halfway through as it is very convenient. It’s a kind of wasting your time, life and sweat by staying for so long in long queues. It’s so horrible and makes us more tired of living. Bills can be made within a
second
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mobile devices. Results and payments will show right at your fingertips. As an example,
Use
Correct article usage
the Use
show examples
 of online banking
hold
Change the verb form
holds
show examples
 significant capital because of its convenience to the customers. Without
doubt
Correct article usage
a doubt
show examples
,
stress
Change preposition
in stress
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 mood we can simply follow
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
. In conclusion,
Despite
Fix capitalization
despite
show examples
 the fact that
people
 like to
use
 physical cash payments, I strongly believe that
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of online transaction platforms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better.
Submitted by wdanuradha on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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