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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Write about the following topic: When the time comes to commence full-time employment, individuals who have graduated from university deserve a higher salary than those who have not. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#topic #time #employment #individuals #university #salary
As regards Employment ,persons who have obtained degrees from university merit more remuneration in comparison to those who have not .University degree holders should be valued more as they have invested financially and spent more time
to acquire
Change the verb form
acquiring
show examples
 skills and knowledge.I agree that salaries should be graded based on
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of certifications.
Firstly
, acquiring
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 educational institution degree is financially and time demanding in the pursuit of a certification in a specific field of study individuals spend
so
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 much time as much as 4-10 years on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average
to acquire
Change the verb form
acquiring
show examples
 knowledge and skills needed in order to work in those fields.In a given instance those who embark to study medicine require a minimum of 8 years to acquire a degree and continue to advance and
this years
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
 spent should be reflected in their salaries .
Secondly
 ,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of individuals who graduate from universities spend a huge sum of money In comparison to their counterparts who may spend almost nothing .Earning a qualification is financially demanding. In the USA , about 60% of medical doctors required a student loan in other to enable them
afford
Add the particle
to afford
show examples
 their tuition and just a fraction of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 can effectively pay up their loans after completion of studies. Economically they should be valued more and paid more salaries. In conclusion, I agree that individuals should be paid based on their qualifications and those who have graduated from university deserve more honorarium than those who have not earned certifications from universities .
Submitted by elizabethogu20 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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