IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence
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Throughout
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Through out
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Throughout
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 the period from the
anicent
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ancient
 to modern societies,
music
 played an important role in our daily life
,
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apply
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 and even had
an
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a
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 significant impact on us. There are many advantages of
music
 bring to individuals,
for example
, releasing one's stress by listening to
music
 is helpful because
music
 is an effective medicine for someone who was
broken
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a broken
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 heart.
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Furthermore
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, there are some
researches
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research
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 proved that
music
 can motivate
individual's
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an individual's
show examples
 inspiration, making them become more creative and innovative when they spend more time
on
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apply
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listening
music
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to music
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. Not only for adults, but
also
 important for children to learn with
music
.
However
, some people have different
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opinions
options
opinons
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opinions
of
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about
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music
,
which
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and
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 they opposed to
develop
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developing
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music
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of music
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 due to
the
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its
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 negative impact
in
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on
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 society. Some
of
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apply
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musicians
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the musicians
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 would
wrote
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write
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the
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apply
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lyrics related to sex and violence in their
song
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songs
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, along with the popularity of
internet
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the internet
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 nowadays, these songs became well-known and even built a trend
for
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in
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the
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apply
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society. Obviously, parents might be worried that the songs would result in
the
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a
show examples
 negative influence
of
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on
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 their children. Thinking of the
behaviors
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behaviours
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 described in the lyrics
were
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was
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 trendy, trying to imitate the
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
 of musicians or their peers
had
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apply
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. In conclusion,
music
 had both advantages and drawbacks above mentioned. In my opinion,
music
 is very vital not only for the people
,
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apply
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 but our societies because we all realized the benefits of
music
, it can heal one's heart and give us support when we felt disappointed. Overall, the negative influence of
music
 caused by human beings,
how
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and how
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 to apply
music
 cleverly is the key
of
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to
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music
Add an article
the music
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Harmony
  • Melody
  • Rhythm
  • Socio-cultural
  • Artistic expression
  • Cognitive development
  • Soundtrack
  • Moral implications
  • Acoustic ecology
  • Intellectual property
  • Authenticity
  • Commercialization
  • Media literacy
  • Sensory overload
  • Acculturation
What to do next:
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