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Writing Samples
Band 6

The growth of the online shopping one day closure to shopping stores in cities. Do you agree or disagree with this.

#growth #closure #stores #cities
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The offline stores in metropolitan areas have been adversely impacted by the immense rise of online shopping. I completely accede with
this
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 notion because
people
Use synonyms
 are finding it more convenient than the local shops. I would be focusing on the reasons behind my concurrences, which would be followed by relative examples.
Firstly
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, it brings adequate well-being for the individuals in order to make their life easier. The reason being is that an individual does not need to commute outside to buy the products,
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instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 they can receive
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 at their doorsteps.
Hence
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,
people
Use synonyms
 are opting for it in order to save valuable time. To illustrate
this
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, many shopping organizations are providing free delivery to the
people
Use synonyms
 who are staying within the city limit
therefore
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 it has become prominent in society.
In contrast
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, native shops do not offer these facilities.
In addition
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, it is providing lucrative offers and seasonal discounts. While the offline stores are not providing many benefits to the
people
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to depict more interest in e-shopping because they find it extremely beneficial to save their money.
For example
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, recently, the Amazon and Myntra companies were announced to sell their products with
50
Correct article usage
a 50
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% discount on the forthcoming Diwali festival, which is why it has become significant for every individual. In conclusion, it is evident that the growth of these online stores has brought adequate significance to society.
As a result
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, it is negatively affecting the local shops, which would lead to the shutdown of it.
Submitted by ephrinzalvin on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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