In order to reduce crime,we need ti attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. Itbis not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?
Eventhough
many Correct your spelling
Even though
of
culprits have been punished in a proper way,Change preposition
apply
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
number of
crime rates prove that legal authorities have been missing something valuable Correct quantifier usage
apply
at
Change preposition
in
crime
mitigation process.Some Correct article usage
the crime
people
hold the opinion that main social issues such
ad
poor educational background and poverty should be solved in order Correct your spelling
as
yo
suppress all kinds of illegal activities. I agree thatCorrect your spelling
to
,
if both the government and the society should come forward to support poor Remove the comma
apply
people
.
Firstly
, it is impossible that in many countries to provide right
Correct article usage
the right
education
as they face population growth at a considerable rate.In some other places, education
mainly focuses on job purposes rather than emphasizing on
social values.Change preposition
apply
As a result
, knowingly or unknowingly people
act as unthoughtful and end up in prison.To illustrate, In India,the number of rape cases have
been increasing day by day because of Change the verb form
has
lack
of proper sex Correct article usage
a lack
education
. In addition
, people
find loopholes and being
fearless without thinking Wrong verb form
are
the
negative consequences that they have Change preposition
about the
done
in Unnecessary verb
apply
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, A luxury lifestyle is a dream for every person inspite
of caste,colour ,gender and age.Correct your spelling
in spite
However
, poverty caused by the reduced number of job opportunities make
life more miserable and starving to death. In order to prevent Change the verb form
makes
the
starvation Correct article usage
apply
people
start to engage in several kinds of illegal activities such
as smuggling, theft and resale of stolen goods, extortion and so on.To illustrate, Tourists are less interested to visit
African countries as Change preposition
in visiting
this
place is well known for robbery caused by poverty.
To conclude
, I plausibly agree with the fact that the government should promote action plans that could enhance people
's quality of life. I suggest that the government should create more job opportunities and make the
Correct article usage
apply
people
aware about
the importance of Change preposition
of
education
. Therefore
,in the future
the crime rates would be decreasing significantly.Add a comma
future,
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay could benefit from more structured paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use topic sentences to introduce them.
Coherence & Cohesion
You should try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow of your arguments.
Task Response
Make sure that your examples are directly relevant to the main point you are trying to make in your paragraph.
Task Response
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the main points and reinforces your position effectively.
Task Response
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss.
Task Response
You have provided specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion offers a clear summary of your key points and emphasizes your agreement with the statement.