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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that university should offer places for people with high marks, Others says that universities accept all age of people even if they do not well at schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #university #offer #places #marks #universities #age #schools
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It is a common belief that
universities
Use synonyms
 should accept high-quality
students
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 so that they will fully develop their academic achievement.
People
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 think that these
students
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 will eventually result in being highly successful in their careers, and
universities
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 get a reputation for their accomplishments.
However
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, I believe that
universities
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 should open their arms to those who might not be good at their academic
performance
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. Even if they cannot fully show their academic abilities, all
people
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 have the right to get proper educational courses if they want.
To begin
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 with,
universities
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 might have a preference for those who are able to do well in their academic
performance
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. Those
students
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 have willing to desire
success
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 in their academic careers so that they can get social progress in their academic expertise.
For example
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,
students
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 with high marks easily perform their academic
performance
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,
therefore
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 they can get good opportunities from businesses with good prospects. They have the abilities to carry out their jobs extraordinary in their position, and eventually,
this
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 makes their
universities
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 get a decent reputation by the
students
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 who did their achievements.
However
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, I believe that
people
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 who are old enough or too young can
also
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 perform their academic
performance
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, even though they cannot make great
success
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 in their major. Education should not choose
people
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 by their abilities. I think education must help
people
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 who have willing to learn more things if they want.
For instance
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, there are some
universities
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 in Korea that provide education courses for elderly
people
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 who do not have a chance to learn at an early age.
However
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, their academic desire eventually results in their academic
success
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 in the end beyond
people
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’s expectations.
This
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 is the reason why
universities
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 should provide an educational system regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 because the person’s willingness decides their academic
success
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. To sum up, the opinion that
universities
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 should offer places for
people
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 with high marks is acceptable but I strongly believe that we should
also
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 provide opportunities for those
people
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 regardless of their ages
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they will
also
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 be able to carry out their academic achievements.
Submitted by ghg5252 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • meritocracy
  • academic excellence
  • rigors of university education
  • inclusive
  • lifelong learning
  • diversity
  • workforce skills
  • practical experience
  • enrich
  • holistic admissions approach
  • extracurricular activities
  • personal statements
  • well-rounded student selection
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