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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think a role of a parent should be in their child education. Write at least 250 words

#children #encouragement #parents #performance #school #pressure #impact #child #role #parent #education
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Academic performance has always been a vital issue both
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 parent and their ward.
High
Change the article
A high
The high
show examples
 number of youngsters receive little
support
 from their
parents
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 respect to their academic results, while others are excessively pressurized by their extremely zealous
parents
 and
this
 pose
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 effect on the child. The reasons why
parents
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pressurized their kids and
also
 their duties towards their child's academics will be discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
, most
Change preposition
with, most
show examples
parents
 force their
children
 to perform well in their place of learning due to their past life
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
. Most
parents
 during their
adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
show examples
performed badly in
school
 and
this
 prevented them from acquiring and attaining their life goals. They believe their bad performance was due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of interference and pressure from their guardian.So to prevent their youngsters from having
same
Add an article
the same
a same
show examples
 experience they compel them to perform well in
school
.To elaborate a young man in Abia State aspiring to be a local government chairman failed his election because he had no academic qualifications. Due to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 his
children
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 always been
Add a hyphen
over-pressurized
show examples
over pressurized
Add a hyphen
over-pressurized
show examples
, they are never appreciated for their little effort. He ensures they come back with nothing but the best results.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 lack of trust
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
parents
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
constraint their young ones to do well in their place of study. Most
parents
 do not believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when their
children
 tell them that they have read and covered their curriculum or when they say they have finished their assignment. They believe that each hour of the day should be spent studying. External tutors and online lecturers are employed to always teach
this
 child. And
this
 has made many
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
lose interest in their
school
 work .
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the role of a parent towards education
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 many
first
 is
support
,
parents
 should
support
 their kids emotionally and spiritually. Show love and care while correcting their mistakes, and
also
 back up their efforts with prayers.
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
parents
 should always provide books and necessary items like laptops and
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
also
 pay
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 needed in
school
 to avoid frustration. In summary lack of trust in kids and
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 failures in past years has made most
parents
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
force their wards but if
parents
 carry out their parental roles like providing finance and
support
, youngsters will definitely do well in
school
.
Submitted by agozie2018 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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