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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical apliances and amount of time spent doing in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical apliances and amount of time spent doing in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarises the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #apliances #amount #time #households #country #summarises #information #features #comparison
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The line chart illustrates how
Correct article usage
the uses
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uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 of electrical appliances have been changing since 1920.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 shows how many
hours
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 in one country spend doing
Use synonyms
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 between 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of households with electrical equipment soared in about 100 years. Among them, the growth of washing machines was declining in the 1960s. Inverse proportion to the ratio of them,
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are spending time on
Use synonyms
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
. When it comes to the percentage of households with electrical appliances, the ratio of vacuum cleaners doubled from 50% in 1940 to about 100% in 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, though no one used a refrigerator in 1920, more than 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 utilized it as a household in 1940. The number of
hours
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 are doing
Use synonyms
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 in a week is decreasing slightly from 1920 to 2019. Surprisingly,
people
Use synonyms
 arranged
Use synonyms
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
house works
 for 20
hours
Use synonyms
 even though they did
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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 50
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1920.
Submitted by daichi.n.001125 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, people, houseworks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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