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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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Although
Linking Words
 in recent days there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 cutting edge
technology
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
medicine
Replace the word
medical
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 fields, some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
alternative
Use synonyms
treatments
Use synonyms
 rather than go to the traditional doctor without
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 of the consequence
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
treatments
Use synonyms
 for cancer, pandemics or health system overburdened. In my opinion,
this
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 will be negative
to
Change preposition
for
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 society. The ease with
Use synonyms
people
Correct pronoun usage
which people
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 have access to
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 is dangerous as there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 studies to give a clear result of
effectiveness
Add an article
the effectiveness
show examples
 of these, so that, when
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 choose
this
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 type of
Use synonyms
treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
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 there is not necessary
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
an improvement in an illness.
Furthermore
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, it can be said a balance between
technology
Use synonyms
 and normal doctor have improved
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life expectancy,
on the contrary
Linking Words
,
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the successful rate
either
Change preposition
of either
show examples
 acupuncture or
homeopathy
Change the spelling
homoeopathy
show examples
 where is
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 proof of the real result.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are studies to show
Correct determiner usage
that
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the
Correct your spelling
that
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alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 appeal more
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 placebo effect
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
If
people
Use synonyms
 try to
use
Use synonyms
 more
this
Linking Words
medicine
Use synonyms
, the world will have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 sick population. The main consequence of
this
Linking Words
 is in the
successful
Replace the word
success
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 rate
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
treatments
Use synonyms
 will increase and in
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 like cancer is necessary
Use synonyms
use
Add the particle
to use
show examples
 traditional
medicine
Use synonyms
 with a mixture of
technology
Use synonyms
 as the science
testing
Wrong verb form
tests
show examples
 the products before to
use
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 showing objective results.
In addition
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
alternatives
Change the noun form
alternative
show examples
treatments
Use synonyms
 usually do not
use
Use synonyms
 pharmaceutical chemicals,
this
Linking Words
 is necessary to control pandemics and does not
overburdened
Wrong verb form
overburden
show examples
 like recently show coronavirus times.
For example
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, in
Chile
Add a comma
,Chile
show examples
 most of the
people
Use synonyms
 that died were who do not
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 the vaccination and
people
Use synonyms
 who
survive
Wrong verb form
survived
show examples
 were vaccinated. In conclusion, for
people
Use synonyms
 is indispensable
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
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 to
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
a traditional
show examples
 doctor as is more reliable than
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
 so that
medicine
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 could show real figures of
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
.
Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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