IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to have a job that requires a good deal of travelling, while others prefer a sedentary job. Why? What other factors should be considered while selecting a job?

#people #job #factors
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In
this
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 contemporary world, everyone wants to do
good
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the good
a good
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 standard
job
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 and
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earn
ean
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earn
 more so that they can afford a good life. The
work
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 can require travelling abroad or within the country to different destinations or the
person
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 can
persue
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pursue
peruse
job
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 from home and office alone. In my opinion ,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 from
office
Correct article usage
the office
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 or home gives a
person
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 ample time for his family and little stress
but
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apply
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, travelling extensively exposes them to diverse ideas,
concepts
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and concepts
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 and builds a global tourism experience. On one hand ,remote working or working from
office
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the office
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 provides a
person
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 with ample time as he works for a specified shift .
As a result
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, the individual can help o in household
work
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 and can play with his children.
Moreover
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, he can
also
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 attend important meetings at his convenience despite the fact he is not at
workplace
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the workplace
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 .
For instance
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, during the Corona pandemic when everything comes to a halt offices kept themselves updated through zoom
meeting
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meetings
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, Skype or via
Internet
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the Internet
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.
On the other hand
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 ,travelling for
profession
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a profession
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 gets a
person
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 acquainted with new
network
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networks
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, cultures ,people and geography.
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Consequently
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,Consequently
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 he becomes
familiarise
Wrong verb form
familiarised
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 with new technologies and advancements.
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Nevertheless
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,Nevertheless
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 he can visit famous places over there and
also
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 gets some practical ideas of new strategies of
business
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the business
a business
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.
Although
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 whether the
job
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 requires travelling or working from premises, brand value and
work
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 culture of the place plays
very
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a very
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 important part
while
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when
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 considering a
job
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 . Everyone prefers to
work
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 in a multinational company with
high
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the high
a high
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 brand image so that the exposure and experience of the
person
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is
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are
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 enhanced.
Also
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 a good team ,motivating leadership focussed goals and values ,rewards ,
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and recognitions
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recognitions
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recognition
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 at few of the policies of the company seen by
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job
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the job
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seeker
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seekers
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. In conclusion, travelling for business or
job
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 generates new ideas whereas sedentary jobs are
also
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 beneficial as maximum time can be devoted
for
Change preposition
to
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 family.
Moreover
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, factors
such
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 as
popularity
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the popularity
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 of the brand and workplace culture are some other factors to be looked upon while searching for a
job
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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