IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that "Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but the quality of their work". To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work
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It is widely accepted that the confrontation between employers caring about the way their
employees
Use synonyms
 dress and the quality of their
work
Use synonyms
 has been emerging as a heated topic among publicity. While some people claim that
discipline
Correct article usage
the discipline
show examples
 and synchronicity of their
company
Use synonyms
 should be taken, I am of the opinion that
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 quality of their
work
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly dominant due to the benefits it offers. It is believed by a great number of people that
employees
Use synonyms
 should wear the
company
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's uniform for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in order to
guaranteed
Change the form of the verb
guarantee
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
discipline and synchronicity, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers
Add an article
the workers
show examples
 have to wear the same outfit for working days,
for example
Linking Words
 in a big traditional
company
Use synonyms
, leaders offer their
servant
Fix the agreement mistake
servants
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 to always remember that they are a part of the brand and each of them in other subsidiary
company
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to wear the similar.
Secondly
Linking Words
, seniors reckon that out-look
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 not be concerned in labouring hours. What could happen if their
employees
Use synonyms
 just care about daily outfits without focussing on
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
?
However
Linking Words
, I believe that the advantages of the quality of their
work
Use synonyms
 significantly surpass those of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
synchronicity. The
first
Linking Words
 thing that attracts people is because of each person's unique style.
Employees
Use synonyms
 can wear which suits them and makes them confident to get ready for
work
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, keeping wearing a fixed suit
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 eight hours does not give them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfort while completing missions.
That is
Linking Words
 the main reason why there are more and more young companies
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
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 their servant to wear formal things nowadays.
Also
Linking Words
, they will have more time
caring
Change the verb form
to care
show examples
 about themselves, which contributes
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the overall and objective view of the
company
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, if the
employees
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 are satisfied with their outfit for working, they can boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity and corporate value
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 best way. At that time, the
company
Use synonyms
 is
Correct your spelling
also
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 "dressed well" and even employers or any class have to
thanks
Wrong verb form
thank
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
Submitted by nguyenthanhloc7918 on

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