IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show stages in the development of simple cooking equipment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagrams below show stages in the development of simple cooking equipment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
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The diagram illustrates the stages in the process of cooking development. It is noticeable that there are three distinct stages in the development of equipment, from the initial container made of stone to the eventual cooking product with multiple functions.
At the first stage
 in the development, the primary material of the original bottle is
from
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apply
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stone, which
is aim
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aims
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 to preserve the food.
Next
, the shape of
cook
Correct article usage
the cook
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 container is flat and made of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 clay shield. The final stage presents the latest cooking equipment with many
use
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users
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,
such
 as the metal bottom and a door for the clear flow of ashes and air.
By contrast
, it is
also
 clear that the functions of cooking remain on the top, and there are some tools for supporting
for
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the pot and the steel net for grating
for
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charcoal.
Overall
, we can witness the changes
of
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in
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 cooking equipment between three main stages.
Submitted by dona32939 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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