The govt should make people take the responsibility for their actions to the environment. TO what extent do you agree?

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Some people say that
E- books
Add a hyphen
E-books

It appears that E- books is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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and modern technology will totally replace traditional
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers

It seems that newspaper may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree
.
Change the punctuation
?

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

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Few individuals argue that the print media would be replaced by digital media. I completely
accede
Verb problem
agree

There may be a verb use issue here.

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with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

notion because electronic book is more convenient and it is less harmful to our environment than the traditional one. I
would be focusing
Wrong verb form
will focus

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb would be focusing. Consider changing it.

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on the reasons behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

new adaptation in the first part of the essay, which
would
Wrong verb form
will

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb would. Consider changing it.

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be followed by
Correct article usage
a discussing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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discussing
Replace the word
discussion

The word discussing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the
Change preposition
of the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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negative consequences of traditional papers.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we are in the age of digitalization, we can see the news 24/7 without waiting for the next day.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, newspapers will only address the news of
previous
Correct article usage
the previous

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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day
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

people need to wait for the next day in order to know the current issue.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
E-book
Correct article usage
an E-book

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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is convenient to read
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

travelling. To illustrate
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora

The noun phrase plethora seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube

The word youtube doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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channels and websites are in the internet, which provide live news with videos and images in
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word attractive.

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attractive way. Agree. 1. Digitalization. 2. Easy to carry 3. Can be read anywhere 4. Wide variety 5. Cheaper cost 6. Increased use and dependence of technology 7.
New comers
Correct your spelling
Newcomers

The word New comers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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are pioneers in electronic gadgets 8. Less use of paper
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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