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Band 5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. DO you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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In the present world, there is an ongoing debate regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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patients
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’ treatment. There are a huge number of individuals who suffer from
illness
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illnesses
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are
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who are
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endeavoring
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endeavouring
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 to treat themselves with different medications and cures rather than going to the doctor.
Although
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 there are some benefits of
alternative
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 medicines and
treatments
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, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks. The main advantage of different
treatments
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 is less time-consuming.
This
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 is because the sufferers do not need to spend their time
on
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apply
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checking up by
Add an article
a specialist
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specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
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 in the clinic.
On the contrary
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,
patients
Use synonyms
 can take herbal medicines to treat themselves without wasting time in the clinic.
For
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example
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,example
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 my gran mother was involved
in
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with
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 a terrible headache, and she drank
a
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apply
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herbal drinking
instead
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 of checking up by
doctor
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the doctor
a doctor
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, so
patients
Use synonyms
 can invest their time
on
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in
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 other activities.
In addition
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, the cost of
specialist
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specialists
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 would be high. The reason why some
patients
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 prefer to rely on
alternative
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treatments
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 is
this
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 method may take less charge due to the fact that using
alternative
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medication
Fix the agreement mistake
medications
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 like herbal drugs can be affordable. Despite the positives mentioned above, I believe that
alternative
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treatments
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 are a negative development for various reasons.
First
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 of all,
Alternative
Use synonyms
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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 are not often reliable. To put
simply
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it simply
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, therapists often have no
any
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apply
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medical degree to treat the
patients
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,
hence
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 it is highly likely that the sufferers face serious damage by
incorrect
Add an article
the incorrect
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 diagnosis.
For example
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,
according to
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apply
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a survey conducted at Cambridge University shows that the rate of
patients
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 death who make
unconscious
Correct article usage
an unconscious
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 effort
Use synonyms
alternative
Change preposition
to alternative
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 medicines have been increasing
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 consulting
by
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apply
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the
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apply
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doctors. Provided that
patients
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check up
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check-up
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 by the doctors, they will be more assured. As a consequence, going to the doctors can decrease
patient’s
Correct article usage
the patient’s
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 tension because of scientific treatment rather than
alternative
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treatments
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such
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 as acupuncture. In conclusion, while I recognize the possible advantages of different
treatments
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, I consider it to be a negative development overall.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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