Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

There is a current distressing situation that the external life has burdened the youth with a wide range of pressures. In
this
essay, I would discuss several precursors to
this
issue, before some viable measures are drawn. The fact that
children
are coerced into pressures and responsibilities stems from a number of root reasons. As far as the academic burden is concerned, it is the escalating competitiveness of the job market accompanied
with
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by
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the
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parental over-expectation
that is
to blame. The organisations’ demand
of
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for
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a qualified workforce pours into the parents’
mind
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minds
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a thought that their
children
have to be successful at school, and many youths today take studying as an obligation.
In addition
, some
children
, mostly those who have special talents or are born
in
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into
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famous families, may find their personal life in the public interest. The appearance
on
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in
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the media at
such
a young age may deprive the junior citizens of an innocent and carefree childhood. Regarding the commercial
pressure
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,pressure
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children
have to encounter, fast food chains or sweetshops have made them the target customers
; and
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, and
;
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they are dragged into a chaotic influx of information by both the online and offline advertising campaigns. In order to reverse
such
pressures on
children
, I would like to propose a number of drastic remedies.
Firstly
, parents should create a mentally and physically healthy domestic environment, involving a balance between learning and relaxing. Cooling-down activities
such
as sports, drawing or
traveling
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travelling
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, which are normally affordable, can release the stress of
children
brought on by both academic and social burdens.
In addition
, business morality has to be emphasised and penetrated by all firms. They should keep their online advertisements inaccessible to the youth by putting age restrictions on their websites. In final words, it is unfair for
the
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children
to bear any kind of pressure, and every part of society should exert effort to provide them with a happy youth life.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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