IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime, while others feel that crime is being tackled effectively now. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #action #crime
Though
crime
 rates have fallen to historic lows in most nations, there are many who feel
further
 action is still required. In my opinion, there should always be
crime
 prevention efforts,
however
, on one level,
crime
 is being opposed adequately. Those who believe
crime
 requires greater prioritisation identify its effects, particularly in underserved segments of a population.
Crime
 is still pervasive in areas rife with poverty,
such
 as in neglected neighbourhoods in inner cities. An illustrative example of
this
 would be the infamous favelas of Brazil. Residents in these communities must remain constantly vigilant for muggings and robberies and there is a high likelihood that in their lifetime they will come into contact with criminal elements. The causes of
such
crime
-ridden slums are complex but the results for millions of individuals in cities around the world deserve meaningful countermeasures.
Nonetheless
, a criminal activity already receives sufficient funding as evidenced by its decline.
Crime
 is best tackled through a combination of economic, educational, and criminal justice reform and as developing countries become wealthier, there is a concomitant effect on
crime
. Criminality is
therefore
 being addressed and it would be unrealistic to expect a world without
crime
 given the realities of human nature.
Instead
 of diverting more money towards an area on the mend already, governments can continue to
also
 fund schools, hospitals, state universities, defence, infrastructure and a host of other areas that may themselves indirectly contribute to eradicating
crime
. In conclusion, though
crime
 impacts the daily lives of many citizens, it is already being successfully curbed and there are other key areas deserving of budgetary consideration. Governments must
nonetheless
 balance these concerns and remain vigilant toward changes in
this
 promising pattern.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: