IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do agree or disagree?

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Owing to the problem that a growing population of smoking people cause for the
health
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 care system, some governments think that the key to solving these issues is to ban smoking in all public places. I completely agree that
this
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 is the best way to tackle
this
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 issue of deteriorating public
health
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 in relation to smoking.
Firstly
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, dealing with the issues surrounding smoking is best solved by taking a long-term approach and introducing a ban in all public places.
This
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 method will ensure that the
next
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 generation will be healthier and will not have these
health
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 problems.At the moment, the men in West smoke 3 times a day which is injurious to
health
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 . Folks who inhale the smoke from others are
also
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 at risk. Having a habit of smoking regularly is considered dreadful and life-threatening by the
Health
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 care system. Government promotes everywhere that smoking is hazardous to
health
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 ,
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Fix capitalization
however
show examples
However
Add a comma
,However
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this
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 is not enough to make people aware of how dangerous it is . It can cause Lung cancer or it can even damage one's lungs completely resulting in shortness of breath followed by death.
Secondly
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, Younger kids tend to get inspired by movies where actors enact smoking as a heroic activity.Many juveniles got influenced by celebrities and
then
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 they initiated smoking at a very adolescent age which gradually reduced their life span. Schools should conduct awareness camps for all students to make them understand what smoking can cause to someone and how it impacts their
health
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. In conclusion, I completely agree with Government in banning smoking in all public places ,
Also
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 I would suggest authorities ban Tobacco in the country which is the main contributor to mouth cancer.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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