Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

It is believed that
children
must spend their free
time
educationally.
However
, some people think
children
should just
wast
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
time
. There are some reasons why I agree with
children
must have useful spare
time
and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not waste
time
.
Nemely
Correct your spelling
Namely
, because they learn
time
managing , they improve their valuable skills.
On the other hand
, some people have a different point of view that will be discussed in the following essay. When individuals are in their childhood they have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of free
time
that spending it in a good way will help them
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
.
Initially
, many useful activities like
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
, painting ,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
there are that
children
can do.
therefur
Correct your spelling
therefor
therefore
, they will become amused and learn new skills that will be
Correct your spelling
helpful
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
for their future lives.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
when
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children
learn to use the computer it can help them in the
next
years .
Additionally
, childhood is the best age for learning and making good habits
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
.When one learns to use
leisur
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
gain valuable skills it becomes a habit for them and they do not have difficulties in the future.
On the other hand
, some
Correct your spelling
people
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
believe leisure
time
just must be wasting
time
Correct your spelling
because
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
,
firstly
children
face with
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of stress in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
and in leisure
time
they must
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
relax and have
Correct your spelling
joyful
joyfully
joyfull
Correct article usage
a joyfull
show examples
time
.
For instance
, they must sleep
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
, play video games, etc.
Secondly
, too much education
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
harmful effects on their mentals and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
their attention in schools. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concluson
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
Correct your spelling
despite
despits
Correct your spelling
despite
of all benefits that spending leisure
time
education
Change preposition
on education
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
, it has some drawbacks
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, they face with
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of stress,and it
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
their concentration on
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
Submitted by ranjbari4526 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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