IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays people like to use new electronic equipment. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, electronic equipment is familiar to most people
due to
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 the enormous development in technology. In my opinion, I think it made a great change in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, and it is positive to keep up with the new ones. These types of equipment facilitate the work and add joy.
Firstly
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, using electronic devices facilitates our jobs, using machines
made
Wrong verb form
makes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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tasks easier for us and new versions definitely will be better. In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
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, one of its important features of it is reducing the time and effort needed by humans.
However
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, these devices can be found in any part of our lives today and are irreplaceable.
For example
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, the coffee maker and the blender, are mostly used every day, these two machines do a lot of work and processes that needed hours in the past, in just a few minutes. So, is it evidence that electronic devices have made a huge positive change by making these tasks easier On the other hand, television, headphones, cameras, computers, ....etc. add a lot of colours to our lives.
For instance
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, when someone is bored and has no company, he can easily enjoy his time by watching TV
or
Correct word choice
apply
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chatting on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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 or just browsing the internet.
furthermore
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, there are video games which can be shared between family members or friends, so they can have group fun.
In addition
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, using computers and e-books for studying leads to
make
Verb problem
apply
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more research which helps in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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development. Really, they made a beautiful difference in our days. In conclusion, I believe that electronic equipment become an essential part of everyone's day as a positive impact. they make jobs easier and quicker,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 they
entered
Wrong verb form
enter
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 pleasure and entertainment into the human souls.

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task response
You need to develop your ideas more clearly and provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a basic structure, but you need to work on developing a more coherent and cohesive flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph relates to the main topic and supports your overall argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological progress
  • innovation
  • efficiency
  • environmental issues
  • electronic waste
  • digital literacy
  • accessibility
  • over-dependence
  • face-to-face interactions
  • economic growth
  • consumerism
  • planned obsolescence
  • financial stability
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