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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe that family has greater influence in child life and development as compared to other factors such as friends, tv, music and so on? Do you agree or disagree with the content ?

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It is often argued that family has an enormous impact on children's
life
 and development, whilst others believe that other factors
such
 as
friends
, tv, music etc. As far as I am concerned, I vehemently agree with the
first
 notion and
this
 essay will discuss both points of view based on my personal opinions that can be given below.
First
 of all, one of the
first
 reasons why family becomes a greater influence on their offspring is because kids are more likely surrounded by their families every day and spent most of their time with them.
This
 would mean that the parents are often taught their offspring about discipline, morality, manner, and the difference between right and wrong in their
life
.
For example
, the survey that has done by the researcher showed that a child who is living with his family is more successful compared to other children who are not living with their families.
On the other hand
, other aspects
such
 as
friends
, tv and music
also
 affected young adult's
life
 and development.
Friends
,
for instance
, children who go to school are having a lot of
friends
.
This
 would mean that they are
also
 prone to be affected by their
friends
 because they always play around or study together with them.
On the contrary
, no matter the things that affected them to become successful, nothing can bit the things which they have learned from their families. To sum it up, other influence factors
besides
 family indeed give an impact on an adolescent's
life
 and development.
However
, I strongly believe that family has the primary contribution for kids in the future.
Submitted by hendonhp27 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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