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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above view?

#people #guarantee #job #course #university #education #school #gain #world #work
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It is true that education has an indispensable role to play in the context of contemporary society. Some people harbour a belief that high-level education is a key enter famous companies, whilst others hold a reverse viewpoint. I partially disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. 
First
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 of all, in Asian countries, completing a university study before
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 start their careers is a common culture. Most adults believe a high-level education degree is the only method to get a better job.
Thus
Linking Words
, they force their children to choose a major that their parents like.
As a result
Linking Words
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
community
Use synonyms
 do not have opportunities to explore their favourite fields.Young
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 regret the work in the industry that their parents pick for them. In the end,some young
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 need to spend extra time restarting their careers or going back to university again.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in western countries,
Add an article
the
show examples
school encourages
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 public to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time work or have a gap year before they enter university. Young public via surely job experience understand the work and develop their interest. Some young
community
Use synonyms
 would go to other countries for a working holiday, it is a good chance to open their eyes to learn to become
independent
Add an article
an independent
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 person and face different challenges. Compared to Asian young ones, they are more clear about their purpose in their career. To sum up, despite the fact getting
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discipline before entering companies has blesses and curses their demerits must not be ignored. It is extensively believed that learning background is not the only way to depend on
Use synonyms
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
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 qualifications.
Submitted by m064611 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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