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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some academics say that every child should be taught to play an instrument. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

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It has been widely known that the importance of teaching how to play an
instrument
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,
such
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 as a piano and a guitar, from a perspective of efficient
education
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. Yet, some people insist that all
children
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 are obliged to learn how to play an
instrument
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. I personally disagree with
this
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 statement for several reasons. admittedly, learning how to play an
instrument
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 has positive effects on
children
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's legitimate growth. A study that compared brains of
children
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 who had experienced
of
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apply
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being taught an
instrument
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 and who had not shown enormous differences in development.
However
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, teaching
to
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apply
show examples
all
children
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 has negative .
First
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 of all, teaching how to use an
instrument
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 costs significantly, so some households might not able to
Correct your spelling
afford
Correct your spelling
afford
Stafford
itafford
Correct pronoun usage
ititafford
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. If parents want to teach how to play
a
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the
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 piano ,
for instance
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, they have to purchase a piano which costs more than $3,000 on average and send
children
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 to an
instrument
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 school which
also
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 costs a great deal of money regularly.
Thus
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, it can be said that
this
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 could be a huge burden on the household's budget.
Secondly
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, forcing every child to learn an
instrument
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 would have a negative impact on society because it might cause a lack of diversity.
Although
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 learning how to play an
instrument
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 serves an important role in
education
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, other kinds of experience, for ,instance playing sports, are
also
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 important and indispensable elements for
children
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. regarding that the
education
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 of instruments requires great amounts of time, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all
children
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 play an
instrument
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, there are few opportunities
of
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for
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 new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 would reduce the diversity of society. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that claims every child should
learnt
Change the verb form
learn
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 an
instrument
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 because of the cost and possible negative effects on society
,
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apply
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 while understanding the importance of
instrument
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education
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.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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