IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both views.

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In
this
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 contemporary era,
people
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 are concerned about their
health
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 and
education
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also
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 these both are an indispensable part of livelihood so many
people
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 think that the
government
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 should pay for all
individual's
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
show examples
 healthcare and study.
However
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, other
people
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 think that it is the citizen's responsibility. In
this
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 essay, I would explain both and give examples. On the one hand, nowadays, many
people
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 suffer in their job and
education
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 because the competition is increasing rapidly so
people
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 many times not have good food and sleep so which affect their
health
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.
Moreover
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, many citizens say that
this
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 is a global problem so the
government
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 pay a good amount for
education
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 and healthcare
people
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 so
people
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 feel relaxed in their job and academics.
For example
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, according to one ,survey many parents do not send their children to school because they can not afford the fees and same in the medical sector
people
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 do not afford the fees for operations and medicine so if the
government
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 invest some money in
this
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 field so it might be very important for citizens who live in below poverty.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 suggest all individuals take care of their
health
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 and
education
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 because the
government
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 have another big problem for nations
also
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 some
people
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 who really afford some good
education
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 and
health
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 services indeed if they take advantage of
this
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 skim than it can be a disadvantage for
people
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 who really need support and help.
In addition
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, many
people
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 have enough money to protect themselves from problems and epidemics so if the state opts law for free healthcare and academics
then
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this
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 kind of
people
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 goes against with community. In conclusion, I personally think that these both are very important for all
people
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 to have good study and
health
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 so
definitely
Add a comma
,definitely
show examples
 the
government
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 should invest some money for needy
people
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 or free for below poor
people
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 so they easily afford these services .

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Subsidized education
  • Social disparity
  • Public sector
  • Private sector
  • Economic burden
  • Progressive taxation
  • Safety net
  • Accessible healthcare
  • Merit-based scholarships
  • Privatization
  • Social welfare
What to do next:
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