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Writing Samples
Band 5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.

5.0 / 9
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Introduction
Work
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 progress of humanity in any sphere, due to the fact that to achieve any goal you need to labour. Human has
innate
Add an article
an innate
show examples
 talent for one kind of
work
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is not mean that
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will
work
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 profession. There are always disputes about choosing
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
, according to the
money
Use synonyms
 that it gives, or how much
pleasant
Replace the word
pleasure
show examples
 it is. I totally agree
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 that people should choose a
job
Use synonyms
 that they love,
instead
Linking Words
 of chasing
money
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
In case, if we have chosen
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 or career that pays best, there will be many pros, according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earning more
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 let you buy qualitative things, which
are not break
Change the verb form
are not broken
show examples
 down from one usage. Great fortune
also
Linking Words
 provides
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 to buy more healthy food or to get better medical treatment
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 disease.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in relation to the good paycheck, it is obvious that you will
work
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 better conditions with all comforts.
Use synonyms
Job
Add an article
A job
The job
show examples
 with
valuable
Correct article usage
a valuable
show examples
 salary gives you a lot of possibility to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 it
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
hobby
Add an article
the hobby
a hobby
show examples
 that you like, things that
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 you pleasure.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in most situations, chasing
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 paycheck, is not have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your mental and physical health, due to the fact, that you will force yourself to go to the
job
Use synonyms
. Your only motivation is
money
Use synonyms
, nothing more. But
stress
Use synonyms
 that you get at
Use synonyms
job
Correct pronoun usage
your job
show examples
 may cause problems with
health
Correct pronoun usage
your health
show examples
. There is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of studies where experts believe, that
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
 level of
stress
Use synonyms
 is slowly killing your organism. No amount of
money
Use synonyms
 is not enough to vanish
stress
Use synonyms
, even
you
Correct word choice
if you
show examples
 will spend your leisure time in a good way. Because your brain will know, that tomorrow he has to pass through
stress
Use synonyms
 one more time to be happy beyond
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. It is
vicious
Add an article
a vicious
show examples
 cycle.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to say, that choosing of
job
Use synonyms
 or career according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how much
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you like it - is more important, because you will not harm yourself.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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