Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#schools

Offend

Wrong verb form

Offending

show examples

and

bully

Wrong verb form

bullying

show examples

can cause bad mental health to people.

Furthermore

, there is no doubt that bullying is the main

problem

in many schools around the globe. Now I am going to give some reasons why

this

happens

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and represent how

this

problem

can be solved.

Firstly

children

avoid something that they do not like or do not know about. Bully usually happens because someone

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

both bad health and bad mental health.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

second

grade I had a classmate who was obese. No one wanted to talk

him

Change preposition

to him

show examples

and be friends with him.

This

case encouraged him to abandon our class and go to another school.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

kids

can offend someone who

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not look similar to them. Recently I have heard about some racist cases when students bullied

another students

Replace the adjective

another student

other students

show examples

because they were from another country or culture.

Secondly

bully

Wrong verb form

bullying

show examples

is usually

happening

Wrong verb form

happens

show examples

because

children

do not get enough attention. They want to spend more time with

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

parents and

trying

Wrong verb form

try

show examples

to get attention

with

Change preposition

show examples

such

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

way.

Bully

Add an article

The bully

A bully

show examples

may happen because of

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

upbringing as well. Some parents did not spend enough time with

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

kids

, and do not teach them how to act around

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people.

Eventually

Add a comma

,Eventually

show examples

this

can cause

such

problems.

Kids

simply do not understand that they can not offend

another

Replace the adjective

another child

other children

show examples

children

. To conclude I believe that society can solve

this

though

problem

by teaching

children

what is bad and what is good. Parents

also

should spend more time with their

kids

so they do not feel

loneliness

Replace the word

lonely

show examples

. I suppose that

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

two solutions can partly solve

this

problem

Submitted by Mezun 2023 on Sat Aug 13 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Bullying
Harassment
Intimidation
Diversity
Adolescent
Mimic
Aggressive behavior
Cyberbullying
Peer pressure
Social acceptance
Awareness
Conflict resolution
Peer mediation
Consequences
Respect
Kindness
Open communication
Vulnerable
Buddy system

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Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many coutries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspaper. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to this problem?

Some people say that all popular TV entertainment programs should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings . Some say it is a positive development while others say it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.