Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that former
criminals
Use synonyms
are the best candidates to demonstrate the
danger
Use synonyms
of
crime
Use synonyms
to
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
. These
once in-prisoners
Add a hyphen
once-in-prisoners
show examples
who have served their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
in jail become good citizens. Personally, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
statement, for I consider that the negative effect outweighs the positive effect.
To begin
Linking Words
with, some
criminals
Use synonyms
are sent to jail because of committing severe
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
such
Linking Words
as rape or robbery. They might realize that they break the
law
Use synonyms
and
jeporadize
Correct your spelling
jeopardize
the safety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. They might learn from their mistakes after regaining liberty.
However
Linking Words
, considering these
criminals
Use synonyms
have anti-social
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
, it would not be suitable for them to get in touch with underaged
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Add an article
a criminal
the criminal
show examples
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
who committed rape should not be involved in activities with children even if they are released from jail. There is a great chance that communication with young
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
will induce the former
raper
Correct your spelling
rapper
show examples
to commit
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
again.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are various other qualified candidates to show the
danger
Use synonyms
or criminal
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
to
school
Use synonyms
children. Police officers can go to the
school
Use synonyms
and equip the
students
Use synonyms
with essential knowledge about
law
Use synonyms
and dangerous illegal behaviours. They can show
students
Use synonyms
the importance of obeying the laws,
thus
Linking Words
warning the youngsters not to commit
Use synonyms
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. Lawyers and judges are
also
Linking Words
good representatives
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law
Use synonyms
enforcement to communicate with
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
danger
Use synonyms
of
crime
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I do not agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
former
criminals
Use synonyms
should be invited to talk to
students
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
. People working in the police department or other
law
Use synonyms
enforcement are better candidates to communicate with youngsters about the
danger
Use synonyms
of
crime
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 1123747551 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • redemption
  • real-life experiences
  • perspectives
  • consequences
  • impact
  • practical guidance
  • criminal activities
  • root causes
  • prevention
  • misconceptions
  • stereotypes
  • second chances
  • personal transformation
  • empathy
  • forgiveness
  • support
  • rehabilitation process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: