Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #school #students #danger #crime

Some people argue that former

criminals

are the best candidates to demonstrate the

danger

crime

school

students

. These

once in-prisoners

Add a hyphen

once-in-prisoners

show examples

who have served their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

in jail become good citizens. Personally, I do not agree with

this

statement, for I consider that the negative effect outweighs the positive effect.

To begin

with, some

criminals

are sent to jail because of committing severe

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

such

as rape or robbery. They might realize that they break the

law

and

jeporadize

Correct your spelling

jeopardize

the safety of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. They might learn from their mistakes after regaining liberty.

However

, considering these

criminals

have anti-social

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

, it would not be suitable for them to get in touch with underaged

school

students

For instance

Add an article

a criminal

the criminal

show examples

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

who committed rape should not be involved in activities with children even if they are released from jail. There is a great chance that communication with young

teenager

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teenage

show examples

girl

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girls

show examples

will induce the former

raper

Correct your spelling

rapper

show examples

to commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

again.

Secondly

, there are various other qualified candidates to show the

danger

or criminal

acitivities

Correct your spelling

activities

school

children. Police officers can go to the

school

and equip the

students

with essential knowledge about

law

and dangerous illegal behaviours. They can show

students

the importance of obeying the laws,

thus

warning the youngsters not to commit

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

. Lawyers and judges are

also

good representatives

from

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

law

enforcement to communicate with

school

students

Change preposition

about

show examples

the

danger

crime

. In conclusion, I do not agree that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

former

criminals

should be invited to talk to

students

Change preposition

about

show examples

crime

. People working in the police department or other

law

enforcement are better candidates to communicate with youngsters about the

danger

crime

Submitted by 1123747551 on Sat Aug 13 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rehabilitation
redemption
real-life experiences
perspectives
consequences
impact
practical guidance
criminal activities
root causes
prevention
misconceptions
stereotypes
second chances
personal transformation
empathy
forgiveness
support
rehabilitation process

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Improvement in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping poorer nations in these areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives, Unfortunately, not many achive this balance. What are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions to solve the problems?