IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

2020-01-18: Task 2 Some TV programmes, video of violent games and other leisure activities are harmful on children. How harmful they are? What can be done to solve these problem?

#tv #programmes #video #games #leisure #activities #children
We are living in a modern era, where everything is in digital form. There are different varieties of TV shows
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and violent game videos that have a serious effect on
children
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss their effects and their respective solutions.
Firstly
, the quality of the content shown in TV programmes is not so good that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offspring below 18 can get benefit from them. There are
also
 some shows having violent games,
For example
, A Pakistan show named "Living on the edge" hosted by Waqar zaka is harmful to heir because they show violent games and activities that are somehow inappropriate to watch for
children
 below 18.
This
 kind of
shows
Fix the agreement mistake
show
show examples
 not only
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the mental health of your
children
 but
also
 change the path of their life.
In addition
 , parents should play a vital role in order to protect their offspring from these kinds of activities. Do not give them phones with internet if they are below 18. If you allow your offspring with phones without any hesitation at an early age,
then
 you will be responsible for the consequences. To conclude, TV Programs, violent games videos etc are very disturbing to
offspring
Correct article usage
the offspring
show examples
 mind's health. Parents should keep an eye on their
children
 to protect them from any kind of unusual activity.
Submitted by amirb0616 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: