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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The
three
Use synonyms
 pie charts indicate
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 average percentages
Use synonyms
three
Change preposition
of three
show examples
 nutrients
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 typical meals. First of all, the percentages of
Use synonyms
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 ingredients we consume for Breakfast are almost the same. Saturated fat and Added
sugar
Use synonyms
 are 16% and
Sodium
Use synonyms
 is 14%.
However
Linking Words
, the rate of
three
Use synonyms
 nutrients
differ
Change the verb form
differs
show examples
 depending on meals. Added
sugar
Use synonyms
 at
Dinner
Use synonyms
 is nearly 2 times smaller than both Saturated fat and
Sodium
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Dinner
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Snacks
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
times bigger rate than
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and Saturated fat in
Snacks
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, each element has a large dominant
such
Linking Words
 as
Sodium
Use synonyms
 in
Dinner
Use synonyms
, Saturated fat in
Dinner
Use synonyms
,
Added
Correct word choice
and Added
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
Snacks
Use synonyms
. 43%, 37%, 42% each. which means we eat
nutrientally
Correct your spelling
nutrient-ally
 unbalanced food almost every meal. And
Dinner
Use synonyms
 occupies larger fields in comparison to other meals
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
 Added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
, we take rich
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and Saturated fat in
Dinner
Use synonyms
 and
sugar
Use synonyms
 in
Snacks
Use synonyms
.But in general, we consume almost the same amount of these
three
Use synonyms
 ingredients in Breakfast.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words three, sugar, sodium, dinner, snacks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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