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Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
Today more individuals start to think about their own
workplace
Replace the word
work
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 because they do not want to
work
 for other
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 or
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
. I believe it is because they want to be more independent and earn more
money
 .
firstly
 people like to have their own
company
 . it helps them to become independent . when you have to
work
 in
Correct pronoun usage
other
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 places it can be tough since they only focus on making
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
 and they do not pay attention to the employees.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 you have to
work
 more than eight hours per day for some private sector
companies
 , they do not even offer
a transport
Remove the article
transport
a means of transport
a mode of transport
show examples
 for employees .
also
Add a comma
,also
show examples
 you have to follow very strict rules and you have to do
work
 on your holidays as well . having your own
company
 make you independent while
build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
 your personality . some
companies
 do not even treat their employees with respect ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 so many people to
Correct your spelling
quit
show examples
quite
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quit
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 their jobs and
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start
show examples
star
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
 their own
companies
.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
 do not even pay
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfactory
show examples
 salaries to their workers , whereas people want to earn more
money
.
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some organizations pressure their workers to do a better job while paying
small
Add an article
a small
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 amount of
money
 .
for instance
 minimum salary scale in Sri Lanka is 20000 which is not even enough to buy
foods
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food
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. Wages allocated for
hour
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an hour
the hour
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very lower level in Sri Lanka compared to the other countries .
finally
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,finally
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 there is
negative
Add an article
the negative
a negative
show examples
 side
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being self-employed. you have to be
experienced
Correct article usage
an experienced
show examples
 person in your field and it takes time and you need to start up
money
 for being self-employed . in that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 you have to
apply
Add the preposition
forapply
show examples
 a loan and it is risky because your business is new. in
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 having your own
company
 make you
independent
Correct article usage
an independent
show examples
 person and you can be financially free while earning more
money
.
Submitted by hasitha9610s on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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