Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative developments?

These days, in several countries a lifestyle
that is
getting higher makes
consumptive
Correct article usage
the consumptive
show examples
behaviour of young adults change
due to
the present technology never
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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before that almost
people
cannot resist the temptation to
wasted
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
goods. to According my point of view,
this
affects negative development,
this
essay will explain the point to justify my statement. The enhancement of digital technology makes several big tech companies develop applications so that
people
can make buying and selling transactions easily and comfortably. In the past, when
people
wanted to find an item, they had to go around to get that item
while
now there is no need to do it anymore because without leaving their chair buying goods can be done with a fingertip and money on the bank account.
Also
, the phenomenon of social media cannot be denied, where now almost everyone has an account on various social media. Currently, social media is
also
used as a place to promote all kinds of products with the help of influencers who can influence young adults to be like their idols thereby increasing the consumptive lifestyle. As mentioned before, shopping
that is
not supported by reasonable and urgent needs can hurt a person's financial condition, even though many
people
are currently consumptive using credit cards.
This
reflects that the person's income is not sufficient to fulfil their desires, so they must be in debt.
Furthermore
,
instead
of spending leisure time on unnecessary shopping, it will be better to do something else
that is
more positive and does not cause debt.
To conclude
, young adults who tend to spend leisure time wasting money to pay for things that are not useful is a negative issue.
Submitted by sirapatpanmoon on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction and conclusion that presents a clear and coherent line of thought. Additionally, make sure that your supporting ideas are logically connected and well-supported.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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