Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative developments?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #reason #developments

These days, in several countries a lifestyle

that is

getting higher makes

consumptive

Correct article usage

the consumptive

show examples

behaviour of young adults change

due to

the present technology never

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

before that almost

people

cannot resist the temptation to

wasted

Wrong verb form

waste

show examples

goods. to According my point of view,

this

affects negative development,

this

essay will explain the point to justify my statement. The enhancement of digital technology makes several big tech companies develop applications so that

people

can make buying and selling transactions easily and comfortably. In the past, when

people

wanted to find an item, they had to go around to get that item

while

now there is no need to do it anymore because without leaving their chair buying goods can be done with a fingertip and money on the bank account.

Also

, the phenomenon of social media cannot be denied, where now almost everyone has an account on various social media. Currently, social media is

also

used as a place to promote all kinds of products with the help of influencers who can influence young adults to be like their idols thereby increasing the consumptive lifestyle. As mentioned before, shopping

that is

not supported by reasonable and urgent needs can hurt a person's financial condition, even though many

people

are currently consumptive using credit cards.

This

reflects that the person's income is not sufficient to fulfil their desires, so they must be in debt.

Furthermore

instead

of spending leisure time on unnecessary shopping, it will be better to do something else

that is

more positive and does not cause debt.

To conclude

, young adults who tend to spend leisure time wasting money to pay for things that are not useful is a negative issue.

Submitted by sirapatpanmoon on Mon Aug 15 2022

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Please focus on the prompt and ensure that your response fully addresses the task question and all its requirements.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction and conclusion that presents a clear and coherent line of thought. Additionally, make sure that your supporting ideas are logically connected and well-supported.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative developments?

Include an introduction and conclusion

in some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weight are inreasing. what o you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

Since the 18 th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some celebrities say that their private lives shouldn’t come under media scrutiny. Other people, however, believe that they should accept it as part of their fame.