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Band 5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
High
Correct article usage
A high
show examples
 level of
sugar
 contains food and beverages can cause so many health problems ,today so many manufactured
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 contain
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
sugars
Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
show examples
. some
people
 believe that kind of food should be more pricey because that can encourage humans to buy
less
Add an article
the less
a less
show examples
 sugary
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. in my personal opinion, I completely agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
 medical bills can be more expensive so it is OK to increase
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of sugary foods
for example
 in Sri Lanka diabetic tablet
prices
 are very high one tablet price is nearly rupees
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
350 so many
people
 cannot afford that kind of
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 it can be really helpful if companies can increase the
prices
 of that items because of
prices
people
 going to reduce the Apple purchase of particular things
however
 less purchase means less consumption that
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
minimize
Change the verb form
minimizing
show examples
Add an article
the cause
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cause
Change the form of the verb
causes
show examples
 of health problems. So the mood
this
 can
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 you extra benefit which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 you can save money or you can invest that money for something else .
secondly
 , rice
prices
 of
sugar
 products
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
 go for healthy and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural products . since
people
Add a missing verb
are careful
show examples
careful
Replace the word
care
show examples
 about their expenses , it makes them buy less expensive products.
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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people
 can go for the substitute . For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, they are so many
sweet
Change to a plural noun
sweets
show examples
 that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not contain
sugar
 like ice cream, chocolate and beverages . they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
Change preposition
as substitute
show examples
substitute
Fix the agreement mistake
substitutes
show examples
 for
sugar
.
thus
people
 dN easily being healthy while eating
sweer
Correct your spelling
sweet
show examples
 things. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
comclusiom
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
people
 suffer from health problems that cause sugars , so you can use
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
instead
 and you can save your medical expenses following these things.
Submitted by hasitha9610s on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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