More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #cars #transportation #over-reliance

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It is observed that the number of people who

depends

Correct subject-verb agreement

depend

show examples

on their own motor vehicle as the main transportation is significantly increasing. There are some problems that can be caused by

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, but there are

also

Linking Words

some solutions to tackle the issue.

Such

Linking Words

a phenomenon results in many problems. the first problem would be the environmental issues. The more private motor vehicle is used, the more atmosphere pollution can be caused.

For example

Linking Words

, every transportation releases carbon dioxide when they are moved, and it causes atmosphere corruption.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if people choose not public

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

but their own motor vehicle, the number of rides which is moved has increased.

Therefore

Linking Words

, more CO2 would be released by it. The second one is transport congestion.

For instance

Linking Words

, the number of private rides which are used is too much compared with the limited road and in the end, it causes trouble

such

Linking Words

as transport congestion.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are some keys which can solve it. The first solution is that encourage the public to use public transport. It reduces not only air corruption but

also

Linking Words

traffic

jam

Fix the agreement mistake

jams

show examples

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

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the independence of the private ones. The second key is encouraging the public to use electric cars, which utilize electricity for fuel. It

makes

Verb problem

reduces

show examples

air corruption

be reduced

Verb problem

apply

show examples

, reducing the release of CO2. The

last

Linking Words

key is widening the road. It decreases traffic jams by increasing the amount of treating transportation. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

relying on their private ride

makes

Verb problem

creates

show examples

lots of problems, they can be solved by doing

such

Linking Words

things mentioned above.

Thus

Linking Words

, the public should be encouraged to do

such

Linking Words

things.

Submitted by eomjimin0711 on Tue Aug 16 2022

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Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, consider organizing the essay with clearer paragraph transitions and signposting the different sections more explicitly. This will help the reader follow your argumentation more easily.

Task Achievement

Add more specific examples to further support your points. This will help create a stronger argument and provide clearer justification for your claims.

Task Achievement

Clarify and simplify some of the sentences, particularly in the body paragraphs, to maintain clarity and comprehensibility. This will help make sure your ideas are communicated effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which provides a good overview of the topic and sums up your arguments effectively.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both the problems and potential solutions, offering a well-rounded discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The use of multiple solutions and the attempt to discuss environmental issues shows good awareness of important aspects of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Over-reliance
Transportation
Environmental degradation
Air pollution
Greenhouse gas emissions
Noise pollution
Traffic congestion
Urban sprawl
Natural resources
Fossil fuels
Sedentary lifestyle
Public transportation
Carpooling
Ridesharing
Urban planning
Mixed-use developments
Commutes

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More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause and suggest at least one possible solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

the grap below shows the contributio of three sectors-agriculture, manufacturing and business and services to the uk economy in the twentieth century summerise the informatio by selrcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relavant

Many beleive that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in countryside? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many universitiy students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The dig ram below show show geo thermal energy is used to produce electricity. summarise the information by selecting and re p on tin g them in features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important, while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?*