IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Improvement in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nation in such area. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#improvement #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #nation #area
Education, Health and trade are the most important factors for the development of a country. The
countries
 that take consideration into these factors get successful and become rich. They should
also
 help poorer one's so that they can
also
 do improvements in the betterment of their country. I strongly agree with the opinion that rich
countries
 should help the poorer ones.
First
 of all, a nation with a strong economy, a great set of rules, a high level of study and hospitals always places its mark on the world. These types of changes alter the status of a nation.
For example
,
Countries
 like Japan, Germany, China etc are successful because they are too much above in health, learning and trade. and when you compared them with us ( Pakistan), we are way behind them.
Moreover
, China help us financially to make us stable but how they will aid us?
In addition
, yes, the state with a higher standard of living should help the other poorer nation financially as well as morally.
On the other hand
, we should
also
 work hard to make our country to their standards so that
instead
 of going abroad for higher studies, Students come to Pakistan for their
next
 studies. The level of education, and health should be so good that people give priority to their institutes
instead
 of moving to other
countries
. To conclude, it is the moral duty of rich nations to help states with fewer resources like less amount of export, poor quality hospitals and low levels of education.
Submitted by amirb0616 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: