Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion on that issue?

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It is often argued that violent programs and

games

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improve bad behaviour in

people

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, while others suggest that

this

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does not have any effect on

people

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's behaviours. I believe, violent entertainment makes

people

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also

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more violent. The following paragraphs will highlight my opinion based on both beliefs with some relevant examples.

First

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of all, violent

games

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such

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as shut, killing, and fighting have been increasing in recent years. Nowadays, many children have the access to these kinds of

games

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, and with that, children grow up in an environment learning the strategies of being a better killer and bad manners.

For instance

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, a child who is only five years old knows about all the weapons and how to use them.

Moreover

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, they

also

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get angry while playing and release the stress of killing and fighting on the video game.

In addition

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, adults have been expressing more violence in many situations.

That is

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because individuals have been watching too much bad news and

people

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tend to copy others' actions. Some programs showed the traffic and in many ,situations drivers try to solve their problems and stresses by taking a fight with others.

Although

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it is not the best way to resolve, the watcher's support aside.

For example

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, the news program is always showing someone who has taken advantage of fighting, a family at home makes who wons as a hero and in a similar situation, they would do the same. To conclude, in my opinion, violent

games

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and tv programs encourage

people

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to be more violent. There should have better content for both children and adults.

Submitted by izabellaveronesi on Tue Aug 16 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Aggressive behavior
Desensitization
Normalization
Psychological impact
Fear and anxiety
Parental control
Moderating
Fictional vs. real-world violence
Counterarguments
Correlation
Environmental influences
Social messages
Stress relief
Safe outlet

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others, however, deny that these factors have any significant influence on people’s behaviour. What is your opinion on that issue?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Thebefore, all students have to wear school uniforms. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Shopping should be perceived as a form of self-indulgence rather than about buying things that are necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?