An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?
Nowadays, it is true that the overweight
problem
is increasing in a number of children
and for that reason
,
when they grow older it creates a difficult Remove the comma
apply
problem
for them both in terms of health and the health care system. In this
essay, I will explain why the case is so, and I will give some possible solutions to eliminate this
problem
very efficiently.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why many children
face overweight difficulties. First and foremost, due to
eating a high amount of fast food
along with
carbohydrates food
children
are suffering from the overweight problem
and for that reason
, it is difficult for them to lose weight and
affects Correct word choice
which
negatively
their health. Rephrase
apply
For example
, Chinese food
like "Chawmine" which is like
by billions of people and offsprings are eating a high amount of fast Wrong verb form
liked
food
and later on
they face overweight and other diseases. Add a comma
on,
Secondly
, due to
less open space and parks, children
do not do
Unnecessary verb
apply
exercise
and do yoga day per day
basis which is Replace the word
on a daily
also
another reason
for this
problem
.
On the other hand
, there are some possible suggestions to fix this
issue more efficiently. Firstly
, the government should be built
more open spaces in both town and city areas, which help Wrong verb form
build
children
to do their exercise
properly and for that reason
, they can lose weight freely and do not need to check doctors for that. For example
, building parks in metropolis
helps overweight offspring to do their Correct your spelling
metropolises
exercise
on regular
basis. Correct article usage
a regular
Secondly
, parents should encourage their offspring to take
less amount of fast Verb problem
eat
food
and eat a more healthy diet, which helps them to keep fit and strong.
In conclusion, due to
lack of exercise
and eating high amounts of carbohydrates food
children
are suffering from overweight issues. However
, opening more spaces by the authorities and also
encouraging students by their parents to eat more healthy foods Rephrase
apply
instead
of fast food
helps their offspring to be fit and stronger.Submitted by thespoof318 on
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The essay shows some coherence and cohesion in the logical structure of paragraphs, but there are issues with the introduction and conclusion. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and provide a strong foundation for the essay.