Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Some
people
believe that the characteristics that follow
people
from when they were born will have more influence on
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
personality
and
development
than
experiences
Correct article usage
the experiences
show examples
they face in social
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
life. In my opinion, most
people
will be changed in
personality
and
development
by
experiences
over time.
This
essay will give examples to support my view.
To begin
with, the living environment is a very important factor affecting the
personality
and
development
of a
person
.
People
were born in different places and families, so the
experiences
they have are
also
different.
For example
, the children were born in a rich family and they had the opportunity to live and work in a good environment and were exposed to advanced education. Those children will be more confident than the children who live in the countryside.
In addition
, circumstances
also
affect a
person
's
personality
and
development
.
People
who have been hurt or have an unlucky past but others,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will live more closed or get angry easily because they feel self-conscious or some other reason related to their experience.
For instance
,
people
who have experienced domestic violence or school violence when they were young,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will have an angry
personality
and often bully
people
around them because they feel safe when they are the ones who pressurize others.
Although
the traits from birth can affect
personality
, it is only a small part because nowadays with advanced technology
people
can correct the traits that make them feel low about themselves. In conclusion, the characteristics of each
person
from birth can influence their
personality
but it’s not too much.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
most
personality
and
development
of a
person
is influenced more by life
experiences
.
Submitted by doibichhoa on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. The ideas are somewhat disorganized and the development of the discussion lacks coherence.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be improved to provide a clearer overview and summary of the essay. The task response is complete, but the development of ideas lacks clarity and depth. More specific examples and comprehensive ideas are needed to fully address the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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