IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some peole say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#peole #music #people #cultures #ages
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Expert has emphasized that
music
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 unites people of different
background
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backgrounds
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,
ethnicity
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and ethnicity
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 and
with
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apply
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unique
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a unique
the unique
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 cultural
difference
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differences
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 to
came
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come
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 together as
one
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 member.I hereby support
this
Linking Words
 idea and promptly list my reasons.
For instance
Linking Words
,
music
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 is regarded as
stress
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a stress
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 reliever by different
scientist
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scientists
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 and professors by giving you intense happiness and
feeling
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a feeling
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 of relaxation. It
also
Linking Words
 provides
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a way
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away
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a way
show examples
 of communication
to
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with
show examples
 other people, its lyrics
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, for instance,
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for instance
Linking Words
it
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apply
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directly
conveys
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convey
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massage
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a massage
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 to the listener
hence
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 making him feel
joyfulness
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joy
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. Henceforth,
music
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 brought
human
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humans
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 of all age groups together by involving
music
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 classes and singing top celebrity songs.
Music
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 on other hand made
same
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the same
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 individuals successful by working in
those industry
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that industry
those industries
show examples
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, for instance,
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for instance
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 Lady Gaga,
one
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 of the most
well known
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well-known
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celebrity
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celebrities
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. Same sources
also
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 indicate the side
effect
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effects
show examples
music
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 has led to the society which made young immature
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teenagers
teenergers
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teenagers
to
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apply
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depend on and make a living out of it. It
also
Linking Words
 led young adults to
listen
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tolisten
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 only
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music
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to music
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 in high voices which
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in turn
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inturn
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in turn
show examples
 damages
there
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their
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 delicate
organ
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organs
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 of hearing.
Music
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 has
being
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been
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 recently used as
source
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a source
the source
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 of sexual leisure thereby depicting immoral behaviour to the
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community
communit
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community
 which
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in turn
show examples
inturn
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in turn
show examples
mislead
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misleads
show examples
 the whole society
as
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at
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 large.
This
Linking Words
 can be handled by the government butting
counter measures
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countermeasures
show examples
 to the institution and musical industries and putting them huge
fine
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fines
show examples
Correct your spelling
not
to
or
ot
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or
 banning them. I hereby conclude by saying that
music
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 and songs bring diverse categories of people to be under
one
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 shade and practise to
one
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 tone all at once.
Lets
Correct your spelling
Let's
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 all smile under
one
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 song.
Submitted by Abiche96 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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